kristin has been a bad kristin
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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