You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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