He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
