So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
