I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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