Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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