I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
