I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
They are going to name an STD after you.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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