Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
