he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Two words: nipple clamps
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