But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
