i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm bleeding and have questions
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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