I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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