I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just pee around me
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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