yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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