You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
