Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
