She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
