Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My vagina just recognized that song.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
