i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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