I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
