I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
