do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
