i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
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