I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
