I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
