If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
