That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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