soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
