So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
