the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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