the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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