Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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