Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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