I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
