Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
