I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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