Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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