Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
