oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
