Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
