I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The air was thick with penises
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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