omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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