What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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