New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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