Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
