I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
