No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
