U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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