apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
