He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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