Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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