She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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